I went to Ruskin hoping to bring my hands on caring experience over the past few years into focus so that it might be useful to others as they struggle in difficult caring situations.

 

However the Ransacker experience brought its own difficulties from which, with new friends and new ideas, I created this web site. At Ruskin I woke up to the fact that I had wasted much of my life chasing my tail and barking up wrong trees, trying too hard and taking on too much and giving myself a rough time

 

Fortunately in that benign environment it all came together; my old despair and the recuperating effect of being able to get into my feelings and reason my way out of the mess into which I had got myself.

 

Now I can bring a note of hope to any who find themselves trying too hard etc

 

As a model of such a person let’s look at someone who is caught in what I call the quarter hour syndrome. She, or it can be he, is a paid carer who morning and evening goes from home to home doing what needs to be done. But the pay, like the job itself is desultory.

 

Ety passing aimlessly from one subject to another; random, haphazard, superficial (from salere to leap down)

 

If she dares say how she really feels on a bad day the carer can be subject to an onslaught of criticism and ridicule from four quarters. From friends and family who are out of sympathy with her job, with what she’s doing; they will have their own ideas which they’ll try to impose of her. From her employer cum organizer who wants less user complaints and more commitment at no greater cost. And some service users, to say nothing of their families, will want even more and can be tyrannical too. And always there are those who say that nothing can be done about it.

 

And others who insist you put a brave face on it and don’t let your feelings show; we call this emotional labour and it crops up throughout the site. Go to chapters one and two when you want to get to grips with it. It’s insidious and the tool of fearful people who are more concerned to keep the ship afloat than help you deal with what’s happening.

 

But the biggest onslaught can be from her own sense of inadequacy. This can be about anything in her life, maybe nothing to do with her job as a carer; almost anything can trigger off her sense of having fallen short of some ideal she has to meet. All that ought to have happened or could have happened had she whatever. Worst case is when she can’t make reply to her accusers of what she is supposed to have got wrong. Then she’ll punish herself, try too hard and take on too much anything to escape the blame and the phoney guilt she all too easily loads on herself.

 

To anyone in such a predicament trap do join in my party at Chapter 12 of this web site and start the long haul of being rehumanised. Within the context of realizing the potential of our fundamental human needs we can, by voicing and owning our sense of inadequacy, regret and vulnerability survive. We can affirm each other and know we’re loveable and what we bring to life is good. There and find new possibilities so let’s go with them. We become citizens in a world of what I call social autonomy and in the web site we look at that too.

 

I once was haunted by A.E.Houseman’s “I, a stranger and afraid, in a world I never made”. This rang a bell so I looked at my sense of being such a stranger. Now it’s become a distant memory, another morbid zone which has lost its power to a confidence which comes as we realise, and share, those potentials of our fundamental human needs.

 

 

This web site is in effect a research opportunity. Join in to discover that we are social animals who can recover from ingrown thought habits to know we are innately loveable and what we bring to life is good.


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